I'm B-a-a-a-a-c-k!

God, it feels good to feel better! Not 100% yet, but SO much better than yesterday.

Yesterday felt exactly like detoxing except for one big improvement; I wasn't rolling around on the bathroom floor groaning, "God, if you get me out of this one, I'll never do it again!" THAT is a big improvement. Yesterday, I was just randomly sick; I didn't 'do it to myself.'

I ventured out of my "den of ill health" to get a coffee this morning, and as is my wont of a Sunday, drove myself and it over to a pleasant neighborhood park where I planned to drink it, call my sister, and see if I could manage a smoke. On the way, I was thinking of a conversation I had with my friend Kathy yesterday.

"So many people admit they won't vote for Obama just because he's Black," she said with a sigh.
"Really?" I answered. I was genuinely surprised. (Perhaps illness had made me naive?)
"Oh, yes. They admit they'll never vote for a Black man."

I was stunned. Then disheartened. One thing I've noticed about illness and me is that it opens up all kinds of emotional channels. Everything is bigger; love, fear, sadness, anger. Only the emotions that take a lot of energy, like anger, don't seem to get a lot of play. So I wasn't terribly angered by Kathy's assertion, which, on reflection, I know must be true. But my sadness was overwhelming.

And sitting in the "coffee park" this morning, watching the sun come up, I was flooded with joy, thinking that yes, this is one of the reasons I WANT to vote for Obama. I want to push away with both hands the people and the sickness that will not vote for a Black man.

That's quite different for voting for someone just because he is Black. Having made the decision to vote for Obama long ago (ask my neighbors how long the Obama sign has been in my front window), I am glad to have discovered another reason why it feels so right.